Why Change and is it Possible, Part 1?

A true story, When I was a freshman in college there was this young lady that I wanted to meet. She was tall, cute, had a squeaky voice, wore glasses, always looked like she was in deep, deep thought. Oh and she wore glasses. We’ll call her Cathy to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. A friend of mine took a music class with her and as such was in a position to give me all sorts of juicy information about the young lady. The fact that she was from Indiana, was a double music major, had two sisters and a mom and a pop. What my friend would not do, is introduce me to her. Stated some silly such like she really didn’t know her that well and that she didn’t want to introduce crazy me to any young woman as that might ruin her reputation. So I badgered and I begged and I hounded my friend to get her to introduce me to this young woman, Cathy. My friend kept telling me no.
Well to make a long story short I convinced my friend to lie to the instructor of the class. To tell the teacher that she knew a guy who loved and was an expert on electronic music. Who would love to come to class one hot summer day and bring some of his albums of electronic music and give a brief lecture about the history and development of electronic music as it stood during that year of 1971. So the teacher agreed and in 3 weeks I was to give my lecture.
I had never study so hard in my life as I did during that 3 week period. I went from knowing almost nothing about electronic music to becoming, at least for a day in that particular location something of an expert on the subject. I went so far as to not only check out some albums from the local library, which surprisingly had a pretty good size collection, but actually purchased a few albums myself. Which I continued to listen to and enjoy for several years.
During the big day of my lecture I was pretty darn prepared. Per my instructions the teacher had a phonograph already for me. I strode to the front of the class and began assembling my material.
At this point perhaps I should mention that the class was Intro to Music Appreciation at Spelman College, a all female black college located in Atlanta, Georgia. The class size was about 30 to 35 students all beautiful black females with the exception of two males who were like me, students from Morehouse College. An all black male college that was roughly right across the street from Spelman. During my time there students at both schools were actively encouraged to take as many classes at other colleges as was feasible.
I introduced myself to the assembled students and began my lecture. After speaking for about five minutes a young lady about in the middle section raised her hand. I immediately pointed and acknowledge her presence, which was real easy to do since she was absolutely gorgeous. She opened her mouth and said, “Excuse me, but could you speak up and slow down. We can’t really understand what you’re saying.”
Needless to say I was stunned. Thank God I fought my first natural reaction which was to scream, holler and run out the room and out the building crying. The only thing that could have been worst was if she told me mine fly was undone and my penis was hanging out.
Instead I regroup, got a grip on myself, mentally, and responded with, “Sorry, it’s just that I find this subject so fascinating that I have a tendency to get a little too revved up.”
And from there I went on to lecture quite amazingly about the current state of Electronic Music in Europe and America today. I must admit I did a damn good job. Yet the young lady that I really wanted to impress, the female that I was doing this for, this Cathy person sat on the second row third seat from the left reading, as I would find out later, letters from home. She was not paying me a bit of attention. The instructor informed the class before I had arrived that nothing I mentioned would be on any of the test. She just thought it would be nice to have some one present a different viewpoint on electronic music. Cathy didn’t look my way not one time during me entire talk. Needles to say I was pissed.
I was so angry that the next class day, Monday, I went over to Spelman’s campus found her walking out of her last class, yes I knew her class schedule and her walking routes, went up to her and struck up a conversation. Eventually I asked her to go to the Black Pearl Restaurant with me for something to eat. Low and behold she agreed. And off we went.
Months later when I told Cathy this story she asked me why didn’t I just come up and do what I eventually did, which was to just go up and start talking to her? Which brings us to the point of my little rant. What is the lesson that I should have learned from this escapade?
One, the easiest thing would have been for me just to walk up to young lady and introduce myself and start talking. My complicated plan took entirely too much work and effort. And it was such a complicated plan in part because I was too insecure to simply walk up to her and introduce myself and depend on the person that I was to attract her attention. Still though once I decided on the plan I expected it pretty darn well. So even way back when there was talent there. Even if I was to silly to recognize or understand the type of person I that I could be.
I was potentially more than I thought I could be.
Yet in making potentially silly moves and decisions my brain still came up with ideas in terms of meeting this young lady. The potential to utilize my mind was evident in this scenario. My lack of awareness of my potential did not negate the potential that was there I just didn’t use my mental abilities to there greatest extent. The changes that I believe can happen is that we can learn ways, habits to improve our functioning, both mental, emotional physical that there may be no limit as to how we can improve out lives and the lives or others. My example above was to show that even when I made bonehead decisions my ability to strive and achieve was still apparent. Lets just see it I can turn these things around in a more effective and positive way in a purposeful and directed manner.
Now the truth is if you really don’t believe that it is possible to change one’s direction in life to start performing new positive habits and getting rid of negative destructive habits, well perhaps you shouldn’t waste time reading this blog. Where I’m coming from is that positive change is not only possible but is quite desirable. In fact it is something to strive for in this life. One should always attempt to move toward being a better person. To do anything less is living a life of mediocrity. Besides I’m trying to change my life here and it would be really silly of me to not believe that whole sale change is not a possibility. So for those who believe it can be done, welcome. I will continue you this next time in Part 2 of “Why Change and is it Possible?

Cart Before the Horse or Why I Need to Start at the Beginning

In my last post in May I talked about the “30 Day Plan” to start new habits. Well in retrospect I think I should discuss what I want and why am I doing what I’m doing. The question becomes the people have the ability to become the best that they can be? Is it possible to live the type of life that one would like to live? And if you haven’t achieved whatever is that you had hoped to achieve by a certain age or a certain time is it too late? Do you have to settle for second best? Is the prospect of achieving your personal best, impossible? Or was such a desire ever real in the first place?
Well I don’t believe that once you hit a certain age or have obstacles in your way that learning, self improvement, drive, ambition comes to an end. Nope I think that our ability to dream and then translate said dreams into goals and finally bring them into reality is a gift that is with us when we are born and hangs with us until we die. The question is what, if anything, we decide to do with these gifts. Do we use them to grow, learn and improve or do we ignore them refusing to believe that we can shape our destiny? I have to believe that if you focus and put your mind to it a person can make great changes not only in their life but in the lives of other human beings.
So with that in mind I have decided to begin a journey. From this point in time I will set off on a path to self improvement and self actualization. My goal, to paraphrase a commercial, is to become the best that I can be.
Since this is a personal journey which I plan to document this will be a personal journal. A journey that I’m would like to share with anyone interested. I’m constantly researching, absorbing facts and information. The course of action that I have decided on is a compilation of several different sources. I’m attempting to pull out what I think will work and what will be of the most benefit to me. But whatever happens, hopefully you will be along for the ride. At times I will go into some detail about my life so that you will get some insight as to whom I am. I will reveal step by step how I attempt to pursue this path. Then we get to see if any of this stuff actually works and is of a benefit to bringing dreams to reality. I’m assuming that if you’re reading this you are somewhat curious as to whether this will work or not. I also hope you find the whole subject somewhat interesting so you will keep reading. And please in the comment section share your insights, observations and ask your questions. Any and all comments will be greatly appreciated.
I for one can’t wait to find out if any of this is possible. It’s like a great science experiment with me under the microscope. So come on spend a few minutes a week every other week and lets watch what happens. You are invited.